Marie Antoinette's Husband Was a Total Baller

Jess Novak

but he never really took advantage of it.
    He gave his wife the house he was supposed to give 

to his mistress. Jenny asks me if I think that is way romantic
    & I know it’s a trick question but I can’t tell which way

because last night Jack and I got faded
    on Red Bull & André cocktails back at the factory,

& we stayed up watching a documentary,
    so instead, I tell Jenny that when the revolution started up, & folks

started smashing all the furniture 
    in the palace & ripping up the gardens, the King said

It is pleasant that this rage 
    is confined to inanimate objects, & I tell her I think that’s so hilarious,

Oh, hilarious, Jenny returns,
    her voice serious as Madame Tussaud, who was also there, at the revolution,

according to the documentary,
    & whose head was even shaved for execution before she was pardoned

last-minute so that she could pick 
    her dead friends’ faces up off the lawn & mold them into candles.